Whether conducted in the United States or far off lands, many surveys find the number one reason for divorce is poor communication. While couples are often talking to each other they aren't often truly hearing what the other person is truly trying to say. Beyond having different communication styles, issues often arise when one or both partners are not comfortable talking about their feelings. A big part of our job in couples therapy is to help couples learn how to mesh their communication styles, tolerate talking about feelings and hear each other.

Have you ever wondered why some marriages last decades while others barely go two years? Why do some couples thrive and grow together while others crash and burn?

The secret? There are three secrets, actually; three ingredients to a happy and successful marriage. Without all three of these, many couples will struggle to remain connected and committed. Good news is every person can learn and implement these secrets at any time to improve their marriage.

No matter how many times they were warned, few new parents are prepared for the life-changing event of the birth of their first child. Your time is no longer yours and at times it may feel like you will never get back to the hobbies or self-care activities that you once enjoyed. Relaxing with a glass of wine after work, sleeping in on Saturday, impromptu dates and dinners with friends become replaced with sleepless nights and endless diaper changes.

Blame and game – two words that should never be joined together. The truth is, the blame game is no fun to play and there are never any winners. And, perhaps, the biggest loser of all is the one who is doing all the blaming. When we blame others, we lose our power. Remaining stuck in our feelings of anger, resentment or abandonment only hurts us, not the other person. They eventually move on while we continue our lives feeling mad at the entire world!

Even happily married couples can hit obstacles along the way. When this happens, couples can either go it alone and try to work through their issues themselves, or they can seek the guidance of a trained and experienced marriage counselor. While some couples feel their problems should be kept private, many more are finding the value of seeking help from an impartial and nonjudgmental third party. Even if your partner isn't willing to join your, there are things  you can work on individually that will help your marriage.

I was recently invited to collaborate on an expert panel and share some insights on how to cope with divorce.  I wanted to share with you my 7 best tips from that article.

We all want successful relationships and one way to achieve that success is to avoid research proven things that destroy relationships. Studies have shown that the single best predictor of divorce is the presence of contempt. Otherwise known as the "sulfuric acid" of love - quite a description! The reason that contempt is so destructive is that any statement that is considered contemptuous communicates a feeling of disgust to your partner. Contempt develops in relationships because we feel that our needs are repeatedly not met and that are partner owes it to us to meet them.