There’s a moment I see all the time in therapy. 

A client is overwhelmed, anxious, emotionally flooded, or stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts. I gently ask, “What helps when you feel like this?” 

And without fail, they stare at me like I’ve just asked them to recite the tax code backwards. “I don’t know.” 

Meanwhile, if you asked them their Starbucks order, the plot of three seasons of a reality show, or exactly what their ex said during an argument in 2019, they could answer immediately.

Most couples aren't fighting about dishes. They're fighting for connection, safety, and the feeling that they matter.

In this Therapy Moment, Mariana Torres, ALMFT explains why small moments escalate into big conflicts

When it comes to working with couples, I hear a common complaint: “We have terrible communication.” And for most people in relationships, there is some truth in that statement. I’m not sure about you, but I certainly was not thoroughly educated on what it means to have healthy conflict or how to communicate effectively—especially in romantic relationships. Like many people, I was imitating what I saw modeled in childhood, what I witnessed in movies and media, and what my emotions were telling me to do in the moment.

Sometimes the smallest shift makes the biggest difference. A deep breath. A stretch. A quick walk outside. These micro movements are not just good habits — they are actually changing what is happening in your nervous system, and that has a real impact on how you feel mentally and emotionally.

People-pleasing is often mistaken for a virtue. Being called "easygoing," "selfless," or "always willing to help" can feel like a compliment, but when saying yes to everyone else means saying no to yourself, it stops being kindness and starts becoming a problem. If you find yourself overcommitted, anxious about disappointing others, or unable to set a limit without a wave of guilt, you may be caught in a people-pleasing pattern. And while it might keep the peace on the surface, the long-term cost to your emotional health, your relationships, and your sense of self is real.

Perinatal mental health is an important part of overall well-being during pregnancy and the postpartum period. Many parents experience emotional and psychological changes during this time, and support can make a meaningful difference.

La intimidad es uno de los aspectos más esenciales, aunque a menudo mal entendidos, de las relaciones románticas. Muchas personas asocian inmediatamente la intimidad con la actividad sexual, pero la investigación y la práctica clínica demuestran de manera consistente que la intimidad es multidimensional, abarcando la conexión emocional, física, intelectual y sexual. Las parejas que comprenden y cultivan todas estas dimensiones suelen experimentar relaciones más resilientes y satisfactorias.

Intimacy is one of the most essential yet often misunderstood aspects of romantic relationships. Many people immediately associate intimacy with sexual activity, but research and clinical practice consistently show that intimacy is multidimensional, encompassing emotional, physical, intellectual, and sexual connection. Couples who understand and cultivate all these layers often experience more resilient, fulfilling partnerships.

In this month's Therapy Moment, Maty Patino Trejo, ALMFT provides some simple ways to help reduce anxiety.