Protective Factors: Building Our Resilience One Brick at a Time

Let’s be honest—life can throw some serious curveballs. Whether it’s an unexpected loss, a stressful job, or the 57th time you’ve had to reset a forgotten password (why isn’t “password123” good enough?!), we all face challenges that can shake us up. But here’s the good news: while we can’t always control what happens to us, we can strengthen the things within us and around us that help us stay steady through it all. 

These things are called protective factors—the inner and outer resources that help us be our most resilient selves in the face of adversity. Think of them as your emotional armor or your personal toolkit. The more well-stocked your kit, the better prepared you are when life gets messy. 

In this post, we’ll explore four key protective factors: social support, physical health, sense of purpose, and self-esteem. We’ll also walk through a simple reflection exercise so you can identify which areas are feeling strong and which could use a little care and attention. 

1. Social Support: The Power of “We” 

We humans are wired for connection. Even if you consider yourself an introvert or a “people in small doses” kind of person, relationships are one of the strongest buffers against stress. Having people who care about you—friends, family, colleagues, a partner, a faith community, even your dog—can make a huge difference when life feels hard. 

Social support isn’t about having hundreds of friends; it’s about having a few reliable connections who you can count on when things get rough. These are the people you can text when you’re spiraling, who will bring soup when you’re sick, or who will send you memes when words fail. 

Reflect: 

On a scale of 1–5, how supported do you feel by the people in your life right now? ● 1 = I feel pretty isolated and could use more connection. 

● 5 = I feel well-supported and connected. 

If you’d like to strengthen this area:

● Reach out to someone you trust and schedule a coffee, call, or walk. 

● Join a group, class, or community that interests you. 

● Let yourself ask for help when you need it. (Yes, it’s okay to not always be the strong one.) 

Even small efforts—like sending a “thinking of you” text—can help strengthen your social web. Remember: connection is built through small, consistent moments, not grand gestures. 

2. Physical Health: The Body–Mind Connection 

Our mental and physical health are deeply intertwined. When we move our bodies, eat nourishing foods, and get enough rest, our brains function better, our moods stabilize, and our stress tolerance increases. Basically, when we treat our bodies with care, our minds say, “Thank you.” 

Now, this doesn’t mean you have to run marathons or drink green juice every morning (unless that’s your thing—then, power to you). It’s about finding sustainable habits that make you feel more energized, grounded, and capable. 

Reflect: 

On a scale of 1–5, how well are you taking care of your physical health right now? ● 1 = My energy is low and I often neglect my physical needs. 

● 5 = I feel strong, rested, and physically well most days. 

If you’d like to strengthen this area: 

● Start small. Go for a 10-minute walk a few times a week. 

● Try to get to bed 30 minutes earlier (and yes, that means putting the phone down). ● Add one more fruit or veggie to your day. 

● Schedule that check-up or therapy appointment you’ve been putting off. 

The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress. Taking care of your body is one of the kindest things you can do for your mind.

3. Sense of Purpose: Why We Get Out of Bed 

Purpose doesn’t have to mean saving the world or having a perfectly defined five-year plan. It’s simply about feeling that your life matters and that you contribute to something larger than yourself. For some, purpose comes from career or family; for others, it’s found in creativity, volunteering, faith, or learning. 

When we have a sense of purpose, challenges feel more manageable. It’s the “why” that helps us get through the “how.” 

Reflect: 

On a scale of 1–5, how connected do you feel to a sense of purpose or meaning in your life? ● 1 = I’m feeling a bit lost and unsure of my direction. 

● 5 = I feel grounded and purposeful most of the time. 

If you’d like to strengthen this area: 

● Reflect on what gives you energy—what activities make you lose track of time or feel fulfilled? 

● Identify your core values. What truly matters to you? 

● Explore new experiences that might light a spark—volunteering, creative hobbies, or learning something new. 

● Remember, purpose can evolve. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. 

Having a sense of purpose doesn’t make life easier, but it does make it richer. It gives us a reason to keep showing up, even when the road gets bumpy. 

4. Self-Esteem: Believing You Deserve Good Things 

Self-esteem isn’t about arrogance or pretending you have it all together. It’s about developing a balanced, compassionate view of yourself—recognizing your strengths, accepting your imperfections, and believing you are worthy of care, respect, and joy.

When your self-esteem is strong, you’re more likely to take healthy risks, set boundaries, and recover from setbacks. When it’s shaky, even small challenges can feel overwhelming. The good news? Self-esteem can be built and strengthened, just like a muscle. 

Reflect: 

On a scale of 1–5, how would you rate your self-esteem right now? 

● 1 = I often doubt my worth or abilities. 

● 5 = I feel confident and self-accepting most of the time. 

If you’d like to strengthen this area: 

● Practice self-compassion—talk to yourself the way you would to a dear friend. ● Celebrate small wins, not just the big ones. 

● Challenge negative self-talk when it shows up (“Would I say this to someone I love?”). ● Surround yourself with people who see your value. 

Building self-esteem takes time, but each act of kindness toward yourself counts. 

Putting It All Together: Your Resilience Roadmap 

Now that you’ve reflected on each protective factor, take a step back and look at your scores. Which areas feel solid? Which ones might need some extra love? 

Remember, this isn’t about judgment—it’s about awareness. By identifying the areas where you’re strong, you can appreciate what’s already working. By noticing where you’d like to grow, you can create a plan to support your future self. 

Here’s how to get started: 

1. Pick one area you’d like to improve. (Trying to tackle everything at once usually leads to burnout.) 

2. Set a small, realistic goal. For example: “I’ll take a short walk after work three times this week,” or “I’ll reach out to one friend I haven’t seen in a while.”

3. Track your progress and celebrate your efforts—not just your outcomes. 

4. Revisit your reflection every few months. You’ll likely notice shifts as you practice strengthening these protective factors. 

A Final Thought 

Resilience isn’t about never falling—it’s about getting back up, learning, and growing stronger each time. Protective factors are the supports that help us do just that. When we nurture our social connections, care for our bodies, find meaning, and practice self-acceptance, we’re essentially investing in our future selves. 

So, take a deep breath. You’re already doing the work just by reading this. And if life feels like “a lot” right now, that’s okay. You don’t have to be perfectly resilient—just willing to keep showing up for yourself, one step (and one protective factor) at a time. 

For more healthy coping skills, reach out to Solid Foundations Therapy and schedule your first session