The First 30 Days After Discovering an Affair: What to Do and What to Avoid
Discovering that your partner has had an affair can turn your world upside down.
In an instant, the person you trusted, the relationship you thought you understood, and even your own memories of your marriage can feel uncertain. Infidelity is not simply a disagreement or a difficult season in a relationship. For many people, it is deeply traumatizing. The shock, anger, grief, fear, confusion, and obsessive need to understand what happened can feel overwhelming.
The first 30 days after discovering an affair are often particularly difficult.
Divorce Coach and Emotional Support During Collaborative Divorce
I Was Featured: How a Divorce Coach Helps Manage Emotions During Collaborative Divorce
I recently had the opportunity to contribute to the Collaborative Divorce Illinois blog, and I am excited to share it here.
The article covers something I work with clients on regularly, the emotional side of Collaborative Divorce.
How to Actually Resolve a Conflict: The 4-Option Method for Couples
Talking through a conflict is only half the work. The other half is figuring out what both partners will do differently next time.
In this Therapy Moment, Robyn Ashbuagh, LMFT shares her favorite conflict resolution tool: a four-option framework that gives couples a clear, structured way to close out a difficult conversation.
Breaking Generational Patterns: Parenting Differently Than You Were Parented
As a marriage and family therapist, I’ve seen an array of parenting styles, family rituals, rules, and patterns of behavior. Every family is unique, which is one of the reasons I love this work, the honor of joining with families to create lasting, meaningful change and heal relationships.
The CRAP Strategy: How to De-Escalate Conflict in Relationships | Solid Foundations Therapy
When conflict keeps escalating and you cannot seem to find your way back to each other, sometimes you need a bridge strategy before you can get back to genuine connection.
Attachment Styles and Relationships: Why You React the Way You Do
Have you ever wondered why you can feel completely fine in your relationship one moment—and then suddenly feel overwhelmed by fear, anger, or the need to pull away?
Maybe your partner takes longer than usual to respond to a text, and your mind immediately starts asking, “Are they upset with me?” Maybe conflict makes you want to talk everything through immediately, while your partner seems to disappear emotionally. Or perhaps you desperately want closeness but become uncomfortable when someone actually gets close.
These reactions can feel confusing, especially when you genuinely love your partner.
The PACT Method: A Distress Tolerance Tool for Hard Days | Solid Foundations Therapy
When you have high expectations of yourself but life gets in the way, it is easy to end up feeling disappointed, exhausted, and stuck. The PACT method is a distress tolerance tool designed for exactly that moment.
Negativity Bias: Why Your Brain Fixates on the Bad and How to Work With It
Have you ever had one awkward interaction completely erase an otherwise good day?
Maybe your boss says, "Can we chat tomorrow?" and suddenly you're mentally updating your résumé. Or you send a text, don't get a response for two hours, and somehow your brain has decided the friendship is over.
If you've ever wondered why your brain seems to cling to the bad stuff while brushing right past the good, let me introduce you to one of my favorite concepts to teach clients: negativity bias.
What Healthy Boundaries Actually Look Like (video)
Boundaries are not about pushing people away. They are about protecting yourself and your relationships from the resentment that builds when needs go unmet and unspoken.