Do you find yourself easily stressed out or annoyed by common every day mishaps?

Maybe; your friend ran late to meet you for dinner or it took your partner longer than usual to reply to your latest text message.

These are all examples of things that can cause stress but did you know that you can control how you react to them?

In this month’s Therapy Moment, Kevin Saurer, LPC, NCC shares with us some ways to reduce the impact that events have on us to better manage our stress!

Are you currently experiencing drama with your family this holiday season?

If so; you aren't alone! A lot of people feel pressure, stress and anxiety leading up to the many family gatherings during the holidays!

Maybe there are conversations you don't want to have, maybe certain family members don't understand your likes/dislikes or disapprove of the path you are taking in life.

Do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media when you are bored? 

Does your partner ever point out how you are glued to your phone rather than spending quality time with them?

Have you ever felt the need to compare yourself to those on social media as a way to validate your self-worth? Or maybe your recent social media post didn’t generate as many “likes” as you had wanted and now you are left feeling upset and angry.

These are all common things that happen when we prioritize social media into our daily lives.

If you search for tips on mental toughness, you will most assuredly find information regarding winning, managing grief, military experiences, business doctrines, and parenting tips.

These are all concepts commonly associated with mental toughness and resilience, but is there an actual definition of this term, and if so, why does it become so contorted and misconstrued at times, specifically by men?

The reality is that mental toughness should probably be renamed mental equilibrium or balance, and reference to toughness only serves to misguide most people, specifically many of the male clients that I have worked with in my career.

Being mentally tough does not require us to “take the pain” and suppress our feelings.

Quite the contrary, actual mental toughness does require the highest level of emotional awareness and deepest levels of vulnerability.

Imagine a Thanksgiving dinner spread before you, laden with all your favorite dishes. You fill your plate with mashed potatoes, turkey, broccoli casserole, red jello, corn, carrots, stuffing, and, of course, a slightly burnt crescent roll, generously doused in gravy. As you begin to eat, you realize that you didn’t pause to ask, “Is this enough food?” 

Suddenly, you’re uncomfortably full, longing to collapse on the couch. While this scenario may be fitting for Thanksgiving, it often mirrors our lives when we overload ourselves with tasks like work, school, kids, friends, family, etc all expecting you to still show up how they need you. This often leaves us feeling mentally overstuffed and overwhelmed.

Are you struggling to understand and cope with the loss of someone or something that hasn’t passed on?

Do you feel hopeless, confused, sad, unable to sleep, or are you experiencing an inability to move forward as a result of being separated from who you used to know?

If so; you may be experiencing ambiguous loss.

Ambiguous loss is a profound sense of sadness and loss that is not associated with the death of a loved one. It consists of a lack of closure due to either physical or psychological absence. 

Do you experience stress, anger, grief, or pain during challenging times?

If so; you aren’t alone! It’s called being human!

When this happens the #1 most important thing to help you get through tough times is resilience!

Resilience is the ability to adapt, cope with, and bounce back from stress and adversity and hopefully grow through the experience. It is also the ability to keep functioning physically and psychologically through whatever the experience is. 

Have you ever wondered what you can do to get the most out of therapy in order to receive lasting results?

If so; you aren't alone!

In this month's Therapy Moment, Victoria Mahoney ALMFT shares 3 tips on how to get the most out of doing therapy in order to improve yourself and your relationship with others!

When I work with clients one of the primary things that I hear at some point is a statement that goes something like this.  “I know I should try and do these things, but it’s hard, and what happens if I don’t succeed?  Then I’ll fail.”  

Embedded in that statement is a very simple premise, the idea that failure is bad.  

As the clients continue to talk it becomes clear that not only is failure bad, but it’s often one of the biggest things holding people back from genuine change.  

But what is failure?