When we're in love, our brain activity looks the same as it does in regions associated with motivation, craving, and reward. Happy chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are also surging like crazy. There is actually research that shows even couples who have been together for decades can show similar brain activity to two kids in love - it just takes a little extra intentional effort!

One of the most common therapy goals we hear from couples is "we want to improve our communication" - or - "we want to deal with conflict better." By the time many couples join us in the therapy room their bad communication habits are deeply ingrained. We address many different facets of communication during the couples therapy to help couples reach those goals and get them back to a good place. The longer a couple waits to start therapy when needed the harder it is to help them develop the good habits of communication. Here are some signs that your communication habits might be in need of tweaking:

Spring is an exciting time of year! It stays lighter a little longer, and we finally feel reprieve from the winter blues. With the change in seasons we naturally have a bounce in our step and a surge in motivation to declutter the messiness in our lives. We want to encourage you to not only purge closets or reorganize your home, but take a look at things you can do to clean up your relationships too!

As relationship specialists, at Solid Foundations Therapy, we work with many people who have experienced grief and mourning in their life. During the emotional turmoil that accompanies a loss, it is easy to buy into some commonly held beliefs about grief that unfortunately are not very helpful in the long run. Here are some of the most common myths that we often dispel with our clients:

Be realistic:​​ Create 1-3 reasonable resolutions. The longer your list, the more likely you will become overwhelmed and abandon all of them. If you reach your initial goals early in the year, you can always identify new ones!

I can’t count the number of times a couple has sat on my couch, in our Downers Grove, Il office,  during the first session and one of the partners has said that sentence to the other person. It is a common phrase that people use to try and explain why they are no longer happy in a relationship. Unfortunately, all it highlights is a cultural misconception of romantic love and our desire for relationships to be easy.

We've all been there - the world of singles - a place that while fun and exciting, can be just as anxiety-provoking for many. As couples therapists, we are armed with tools that make relationships work, which gives us the ability to help coach individuals to make good dating decisions. We understand the many challenges that dating in today's world presents:

What is love if not a blissful, romantic, conflict-free connection with our significant other? The “honeymoon stage” is characterized by an abundance of positive feelings, lots of sex/affection, and an overall high that feels good but unfortunately can’t last forever. It’s not wrong to want the best for your relationship, however the unrealistic expectations of what the relationship should look like often keeps us from being happy.

The Ashley Madison hacking scandal has brought the public’s attention to just how prevalent cheating is in our society. While there are people who deliberately seek out an affair, many other unintentionally move down the relationship slippery slope, find themselves developing inappropriate feelings and crossing boundaries.