Have you found over time that your physical touch with your partner has started to decline? Maybe you've found yourself stuck in the role of mom/dad and you haven't prioritized your partner. Or maybe the daily grind has made it so you aren't investing time back into your relationship to create the need for physical touch with one another.

In this month's Therapy Moment, Robyn Ashbaugh, LMFT shares the "gears of touch" and how it can help improve your intimacy with your partner!

Have you ever found yourself in a public setting, perhaps at school or work, and suddenly you’re overcome with an intense feeling that becomes difficult to control in the moment?

Hard as we may try to remain calm, cool and collected as we go about our everyday lives, our emotions sometimes have other plans, showing up with intense power at the most unexpected times.

Has your partner ever told you that you aren't hearing what they are saying or are invalidating their feelings when experiencing an argument?

Oftentimes, when people are told that they reply with "that wasn't my intent to make you feel that way" when discussing conflict.

The problem with that reply is that it doesn't totally resolve the issue at hand nor the impact it has on the other person.

Everyday there seems to be something in the world happening that is really hard to deal with. Whether it be racial injustices, shootings, war on other countries, politics and so much more, these things are not easy to deal with, let alone talk about, and they all impact us in different ways. As much as it would be easier for us to ignore or pretend like nothing is going on, that’s not the reality we live in. 

Do you struggle with how to empathize with others?

Oftentimes, people listen to a loved one share something troubling going on in their life and their initial reaction is to help them "solve" or "fix" their issue. What's often missed is the importance of empathizing with their difficult emotions first.

Empathy is incredibly important because it allows you to connect with someone important to you on an emotional level.

Do you ever notice your emotions get the best of you when confronted with conflict?

 It’s easy to get lost in your reaction or emotional response to things that sometimes it can be difficult to reflect on what’s truly happening in the present.

Mindfulness can be a useful way to reflect on the present moment.

What comes to mind when you hear the word “grief”?

For most people, the word “grief” likely elicits a number of thoughts and feelings, and it is often associated with the loss of a life. 

And then there is the loss associated with positive things, such as the loss involved when we set healthy boundaries, release an unhealthy coping mechanism, change careers, or move to a new city. This is what I call the grief in the good.  

Have you ever sat there and just thought about both how different you are from your partner, but also about the common ground you share? 

Have you wondered if the differences could break you? 

Do you wonder if your attraction to your partner is because of the similarities or the differences? 

Are you afraid to speak to your loved ones about how difficult the world can feel at times? Maybe you are having troubles processing your feelings regarding current events happening in the world.

Between racism, violence and natural occurrences that effect large numbers of people, it can feel difficult to find the words to express how these major events make you feel.