Experiencing the death of a loved one is one of the most painful things each person must face. The shock of your beloved friend or family member having passed away, along with the finality of their death is difficult to deal with.

Everyone Mourns Differently

The process of mourning is a very personal experience.

It's rare for us in couples therapy to not spend some time talking about sex. When sex is going well in a relationship it generally makes up about 10% of a couples relationship satisfaction, however, when it's going poorly it become 85% of the relationships problem focus. We've all been told that a healthy sex life is important to maintain relational intimacy but did you know that sex is also good for your health.  An apple a day might keep the doctor away, but an orgasm a day works twice as well!

For many people, the discovery of a spousal affair is the ultimate betrayal. We see many couples in our offices whose relationship has been devastated by an affair. And yet, the betrayal by one does not necessarily decrease the love of either party for the other.  Often times both people in the relationship are in great pain and are desperate to fix the pain that was caused. When you still love someone but the trust has been significantly damaged, is it possible to mend the relationship? Can marriages be rebuilt after an affair?

Love is a beautiful thing, and there’s nothing more amazing than feeling the bond you share with your partner get stronger. If you’re in a happy relationship, you can keep it that way by introducing a few new things into your relationship. Here are 6 evidence-based approaches that will help you enjoy a more fulfilling connection.

As a couples counselor at Solid Foundations Therapy in Downers Grove, I encourage couples every day to stop and schedule time to connect. There’s nothing magic about Valentine’s Day—but it’s good to have a reason to get out and spend time together! And if you know Valentine’s Day is important to your partner, that’s an even better reason to plan a date.

A lot of couples who come to Solid Foundations Therapy for counseling usually cite frustration with their partner as one of the major issues they face. We have found that often times this frustration stems from unmet expectations.

Expectations play a huge role in life and relationship satisfaction. Whenever our expectations are met we are happy, however any time our expectations are unmet we experience disappointment, hurt or anger.  Couples who are frustrated say things like ‘You weren’t very supportive of me when I quit my job to freelance’ or ‘You didn’t plan any special activity for our anniversary’.  These comments highlight covert and unmet expectations. Constantly feeling like our expectations aren't met can lead to resentment and create an unhappy relationship.

You’ve probably heard this a thousand times, but here it is again: Relationships are tough and they require constant work. In my office in Downers Grove I have a quote on a wall from Theodore Roosevelt that states "Nothing worth having was ever achieved without effort".  I'm consistently referencing it with my clients.  To have high marital satisfaction, you and your partner have to be ready to put in the work every single day, and one way to do this is through constant honest evaluation of your relationship.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is famous for having said, “Into each life some rain must fall,” meaning life is always going to throw us some heartache. This same sentiment can be said about relationships. It's impossible to consistently be at a ten in relationship satisfaction.  Into each relationship some irritability, frustration and overall blah-ness tends to fall.