Let’s be honest—anger is one of those emotions that shows up often, especially in romantic relationships. Maybe it pops up during an argument, or when you feel hurt, ignored, or disrespected. But here’s the thing: anger is rarely the full story. More often than not, it’s covering up something deeper—like sadness, fear, frustration, or insecurity.

When we start to understand what’s really going on beneath the anger, it becomes easier to talk about what we’re feeling and avoid the blowups that can push us further apart. One really helpful tool for doing this is the use of “I feel” statements—also called a “gentle startup,” a concept from relationship experts John and Julie Gottman. This simple approach helps turn conflict into connection.

Ever felt blindsided by how intense an argument got—like something deeper was going on?

You're not crazy. You're likely reacting to a root wound, not just the trigger in front of you.

By identifying the root issue with your partner, better communication can be had and conflict resolution can be achieved!

Do you ever find yourself overreacting in the moment with your partner?

Maybe your partner has done something that really grinds your gears and your immediate reaction is to respond in pure anger.

The truth is, we can’t control how others act — only how we respond.

Couples therapy is vital for partners seeking to enhance their relationship dynamics, providing them with the tools necessary to navigate conflicts and improve communication. However, the true efficacy of therapy extends beyond the confines of the treatment session; it is in the application of learned skills within everyday life that couples can experience profound transformations.

Do you question if it's the best time to start couples therapy?

Have you been experiencing recurring issues that just won't resolve?

Maybe you fear you won't make progress or feel the "ship has sailed" and it's too late to reignite the spark you once had.

Effective communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, yet many couples find themselves struggling with common communication issues. 

Whether it’s defensiveness, criticism, or unmet mutual expectations, these pitfalls can create distance, erode trust, and weaken the connection between partners. 

As a marriage and family therapist, , I’ve worked with many couples who unknowingly fall into these patterns.

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, yet discussing past resentments can be one of the most challenging conversations couples face. 

Unresolved feelings often linger beneath the surface, eroding trust and emotional intimacy over time. When left unaddressed, they can lead to misunderstandings and growing distance which can be painful and create more intense feelings of negativity over time. 

However, by employing effective communication techniques, partners can navigate these difficult discussions and strengthen their bond.

Marriage is a beautiful journey that couples embark upon together that is filled with moments of joy, challenges and growth. One of the critical aspects that can significantly impact the health of a marriage is finances. 

Do you struggle feeling comfortable talking about money with your partner? Have you made some financial mistakes in the past that you are afraid to bring up to your significant other?

Financial health in marriage goes beyond just balancing accounts and saving; it encompasses communication, mutual understanding and shared decision-making. 

Do you struggle with having your needs met from either your partner, friend or family members?

Did you know that simply requesting help may not be enough and that there is a different approach that can help elicit some much needed change?

In this month’s Therapy Moment, Maggie Zofkie, LPC, NCC teaches us the difference between giving a request, a boundary and an ultimatum for when you are feeling a disconnect and which approach will help you be heard the first time around.