People-pleasing is often mistaken for a virtue. Being called "easygoing," "selfless," or "always willing to help" can feel like a compliment, but when saying yes to everyone else means saying no to yourself, it stops being kindness and starts becoming a problem. If you find yourself overcommitted, anxious about disappointing others, or unable to set a limit without a wave of guilt, you may be caught in a people-pleasing pattern. And while it might keep the peace on the surface, the long-term cost to your emotional health, your relationships, and your sense of self is real.

Do you struggle with having your needs met from either your partner, friend or family members?

Did you know that simply requesting help may not be enough and that there is a different approach that can help elicit some much needed change?

In this month’s Therapy Moment, Maggie Zofkie, LPC, NCC teaches us the difference between giving a request, a boundary and an ultimatum for when you are feeling a disconnect and which approach will help you be heard the first time around.

When facing any situation in life, there will be various kinds of barriers that hold people back and various advantages that will propel people forward. 

Can you relate?

I know I certainly can!

Some of the factors that determine barriers or advantages are external to people, such as geographical location, socioeconomic status, and access to readily available resources. 

However, a big determining factor in barriers or advantages comes down to the mindset one has when facing any situation. 

Do you and your partner struggle with resolving disagreements you have with one another?

Maybe the same argument keeps reoccurring and you both can’t seem to see eye to eye with one another!

In this month’s Therapy Moment, Maggie Zofkie, LPC, NCC sheds light on how to best resolve conflict with your partner!

Imagine a Thanksgiving dinner spread before you, laden with all your favorite dishes. You fill your plate with mashed potatoes, turkey, broccoli casserole, red jello, corn, carrots, stuffing, and, of course, a slightly burnt crescent roll, generously doused in gravy. As you begin to eat, you realize that you didn’t pause to ask, “Is this enough food?” 

Suddenly, you’re uncomfortably full, longing to collapse on the couch. While this scenario may be fitting for Thanksgiving, it often mirrors our lives when we overload ourselves with tasks like work, school, kids, friends, family, etc all expecting you to still show up how they need you. This often leaves us feeling mentally overstuffed and overwhelmed.