Datlon Swaino, ALMFT

Knowing what to say when someone shares their feelings with you, especially when you do not feel the same way, can be harder than it sounds. In this Therapy Moment, Robin, LMFT teaches the VCR Method: Validation, Comment, Reassurance. It is a simple, repeatable script that shows the other person you are listening, while still giving you space to share your own perspective without dismissing theirs.

Let’s start with a little normalization: most couples who sit on my couch (or screen) are not there because they don’t love each other. They’re there because something feels off. The conversations feel shallower. The laughter comes less easily. The sense of being truly known by your partner feels… fuzzy.

That fuzzy feeling often comes down to emotional intimacy…

After betrayal, silence can feel like safety — but it only feeds doubt. When you offer up information before your partner has to ask, you show accountability, awareness and transparency.

This small act can slow down the spiral of suspicion and start rebuilding trust. Healing takes consistency, honesty, and compassion — not perfection.

In this month's Therapy Moment, Robyn Ashbaugh, LMFT explains the importance of sharing as much helpful information with your partner regarding the betrayal at once rather than holding back and waiting for them to find out over time.