The First 30 Days After Discovering an Affair: What to Do and What to Avoid

Discovering that your partner has had an affair can turn your world upside down.

In an instant, the person you trusted, the relationship you thought you understood, and even your own memories of your marriage can feel uncertain. Infidelity is not simply a disagreement or a difficult season in a relationship. For many people, it is deeply traumatizing. The shock, anger, grief, fear, confusion, and obsessive need to understand what happened can feel overwhelming.

The first 30 days after discovering an affair are often particularly difficult.