If you've ever replayed conversations in your head, wondered what your partner is thinking, or tried to figure out how to make your relationship feel more secure, you're not alone.

Relationship anxiety is something I see often in therapy. It can show up in many ways.

There’s a moment I see all the time in therapy. 

A client is overwhelmed, anxious, emotionally flooded, or stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts. I gently ask, “What helps when you feel like this?” 

And without fail, they stare at me like I’ve just asked them to recite the tax code backwards. “I don’t know.” 

Meanwhile, if you asked them their Starbucks order, the plot of three seasons of a reality show, or exactly what their ex said during an argument in 2019, they could answer immediately.