When someone we care about is hurting, our instinct is often to do something — offer solutions, cheer them up, or try to help them “move past” what’s wrong. While these intentions usually come from a place of love, they can sometimes backfire. The way we listen can either deepen connection and emotional safety, or it can unintentionally make someone feel unheard and alone.

Two common styles of responding — empathetic listening and dismissive listening

Effective communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, yet many couples find themselves struggling with common communication issues. 

Whether it’s defensiveness, criticism, or unmet mutual expectations, these pitfalls can create distance, erode trust, and weaken the connection between partners. 

As a marriage and family therapist, , I’ve worked with many couples who unknowingly fall into these patterns.

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, yet discussing past resentments can be one of the most challenging conversations couples face. 

Unresolved feelings often linger beneath the surface, eroding trust and emotional intimacy over time. When left unaddressed, they can lead to misunderstandings and growing distance which can be painful and create more intense feelings of negativity over time. 

However, by employing effective communication techniques, partners can navigate these difficult discussions and strengthen their bond.

Have you ever sat there and just thought about both how different you are from your partner, but also about the common ground you share? 

Have you wondered if the differences could break you? 

Do you wonder if your attraction to your partner is because of the similarities or the differences? 

This monthly therapy moment is brought to you by Robyn Ashbaugh,  ALMFT. This month we talk about intent versus impact in romantic relationships. Intentions mean very little when your words land on the other person in a negative way. Follow Robin's advice on how to manage your intent and impact better.